About
Having kids is life changing. Having kids, multiple kids is soooo great. I couldn’t imagine anything better then being a mom.
Those were just some of the things that I heard before I became and mom and also after. I started to think to myself, there must be something wrong with me because I do love my kids. God I love them so much, but they ruined my life. Okay, they didn’t ruin it, that is a huge exaggeration, but they most certainly changed it.
From birth through early four-ish age, I didn’t even think about anything I needed. There was no time. Having two boys 16 months apart, kept me and my husband very busy. I mean I was a human bottle for practically two years straight. Coupled with my full time demanding job, I just got into the habit and mindset that it was my job to make sure everyone else’s needs were taken care of. For years I felt like I was doing my job. I was winning as a mom. Killing it. Everyone around me was so happy with everything I was doing for them. It didn’t matter to me that I was giving up my entire life for everyone else. I just figured that is what a mom is supposed to do. All the other moms I talk to said it was the greatest gift ever. So something must certainly be wrong with me because I was sorta thinking to myself “Really, greatest gift ever?” I mean I could understand greatest life sentence ever. Or greatest time warp ever. But gift, gifts you can give back if you don’t like them. Kids, not so much.
About a year ago I woke up so sad. I felt like I was in a bubble while everyone’s life was going on. I was just there doing everything that I always do. It was almost like I mastered the mom life so well and became so good at it, that I could literally just do it in my sleep. It also helps that my kids started becoming more self sufficient,wanting to do more on their own and not needing to act like my shadow for the entire day. That part was a little bitter sweet, but that’s growth and I’m so proud of them. But as everyone was growing around me I realized that I was allowing myself to just settle. To just stay in the same place and try and tell myself I was okay with that, because, well, I’m a mom. I felt like I had no purpose and decided that it was time for me to find it. Like I said, I am #winning at mom life. Super proud of what I am doing, but there is more for me and it is time for me to figure it out. I am not saying that I am looking to be the next big actress or You Tube star. I just want to live a more purposeful life that not only is considerate of everyone’s feelings, but most important, considerate of my feelings.
Feisty Mommy is the start of my journey and I hope others who can relate to my situation will join being feisty. Being a Feisty Mommy doesn’t mean I will neglect my duties as a mother. In fact, I hope it helps me become better and I think it will. So my promise to myself is to start focusing on me and start going outside my comfort zone and doing things that I know are good for me. Whether it be a 5 mile run or taking a day off of work when my kids are at school so I can just lay on my unicorn raft in my pool with a glass of champs, whatever it may be, I am going to start doing it! First thing on my list was to start this blog. This is just my start. I cannot wait for what my future holds and I am so excited to see where putting me first takes me.